A post for dream boy!!!

So Ive been seeing this guy, I will call him dream boy. His name is dream boy as a few months ago I was having these very erotic dreams about him. The first one was interesting. The main thing that I remember from that dream was kissing him and him saying "Ive been waiting so long to do that".

The other dream that really stands out was about him having chilly in his mouth when I was kissing him. Yes it was weird! But very nice indeed!

I never really thought much about them, but then they became more frequent and more exciting every time.
To me this was forbidden fruit, but a crush had grown. Seeing him was exciting to me, and fantasizing became more regular!

Finally I kinda got the courage to ask him out, (Mind you I had Queeny on the phone egging me on, and realistically if it wasn't for her we may not be seeing one another). He never got my hints etc, and finally when he asked if I liked him it was like YAY! So 29 days later (umm Im not counting lol we hooked up on the 1st June, soon Im not going to be able to count the days cos Im no good at maths!) not much has changed. We see each other everyday in a no go zone, its frustrating not being able to hug or kiss him, but its for the best. And to me it adds to the excitement when I can. I do wonder if seeing each other everyday will get annoying. It might be different because it is a no go zone, Im not sure. And if things dont work out, I do sometimes question whats going to happen. But being adults Im sure we can get past that!

Its not a relationship, well we dont really discuss it. At this stage its getting to know one another. And so far I like what I see and know. Dreams are one thing, real life is different, but I was never let down.

I did wonder if him meeting Dan was a mistake, as most of you know I dont allow just random guys meeting him if its not going to last. Having said that, dream boy said something last night that made me realize I dont have much to worry about it! Dans strong anyway, he's used to people coming and going from our lives, but yet never forgets them!!! In saying that, dan likes him!!

Before seeing dream boy as we are I had discussed it all with a few people. Only a couple said to go for it! The rest said dont do it! Which is why I think I got a bit of cold feet! Not to mention I wanted to be single for a year. Six months is long enough in my opinion.

So how do I feel? Dream boy is a wonderful guy, he's funny, he's cute (even if he doesn't believe me saying that) and I enjoy having him around. And yes I really like him! The only thing I doubt about it all is the No go zone. But my theory always was, how will you ever no if you dont at least try!

Im going through a tough time in my life atm, not as tough as some people but for me its hard. I am a very stubborn person and I like to pick up peices on my own. But dream boy keeps offering to help. He can help emotionally but that is all. Im not going to make the same mistakes as the past. I have learned from those mistakes! There is still a lot he doesnt know about my past. One day I may tell him, its no secret, most of it is in my blogs and most of my friends already know. What I have been through in the past has defined the type of person I am today. I hate liars, cheaters, and back stabbers. I like to be honest with people, sometimes a little to honest which tends to bite me in the arse!!!

Anyway Ive gone off track (not unusual).

But yes! Dream boy I do like you! And now you have entire post about you!!!!

RIP DON

Don passed away yesterday morning. Im really angry at myself, I havent cried once about it, and its frustrating me as I feel that I should be. I cared for Don dearly, he was like a father to me! I never got to tell him how thankful I was to have him in my life.
I wish I could be there for Jean, she needs someone to be there with her. She shouldn't be expected to pick up the pieces on her own.

After seeing this I ask myself why would you put yourself in a situation that is going to hurt so badly! Someone gets left behind, someone hurts. Why would anyone want to bring a life into this world to experience everything that goes on. Life sucks, its never going to be easy for anyone. Too many emotions, too many low points. Why would you want to fall in love with someone to lose them and be left behind. I have no idea what Jean is going through, but I do know she was so in love with Don, the way she would look at him, the way she talks about him and the way she cared for him. And now he's gone! Whats the point??

Daycare fees have increased from $49 a week (which was ok) to $74 a week (Im definitely going to struggle). And once he starts school I still have to fork out $74 a week, plus school fees, uniform, recess, lunch etc etc. My child support goes down as of next month as well.

Im stressing, its not good. But with the way my life is going at the moment can anybody really blame me???

OMG AN UPDATE

Yes thought Id actually sit here and update this fucker properly!!!

Firstly Im sick, and its not a cold, or anything like that! Im run down and Im tired and sore all over. And I have a nice rash on my arm above my elbow which is driving me absolutely bonkers!! Of course its hard to get into my doctor, he is usually booked out when I need him and I really dont fancy taking time off work! But alas I have no choice, its stressing me out which doesnt help! I rarely eat which probably has something to do with it.

Daniel is doing well, still drives me nuts! But thats what kids are spose to do! I have to start organising his bday bowling party, which should be interesting!

Had a good sat night with friends! Actually it was an awesome night, even though somehow my strap ons were worn for no other purpose then to be funny! Was rather embarrassing lol! But it was really good to see my friends with no kids around :P

Im going ok on the money front, which is not unusual for me at this time of year! I usually catch up after tax time, and this time I should be able to keep up with everything and I havent had to borrow any money off my family which is an awesome feeling!

I could really use a new car. I might get there one day, but for now the beasty will have to do...

My mum seems to be going ok! She actually seems really happy wit Wayne and Jake (Jake being the kid). Hopefully we will be able to go up and visit. Beside I need new pics of the spiders on the bridge! And I wanna catch up with my cousins!

I love facebook, Ive caught up with so many friends from many years ago, including an old boyfriend from when I was 12. How cool is that! He is spose to be heading to adelaide soon and we are going to catch up! Which would be awesome!!!
Not to mention a ten year school reunion that we are planning for Cosgrove in Tassie :P Now that would be cool!

I think I have reported everything for now!